Silence is non-verbal communication.
Silence is used by people in positions of power. The silent treatment is an informal act of social control.
In the book Being Heumann: An Unrepentant Memoir of A Disability Rights Activist by Judith Heumann with Kristen Joiner, she explains it so well:
“When someone ignores you, it’s an intentional display of power. They’re essentially acting like you don’t exist, and they do it because they can. They believe that nothing will happen to them. Ignoring silences people. It intentionally avoids resolution or compromise. It ignites your worst fears of unworthiness because it makes you feel that you deserve to be ignored. Inevitably, being ignored puts you in the position of having to choose between making a fuss or accepting the silent treatment. If you stand up to the ignorer and get in their face, you break the norms of polite behaviour and end up feeling worse, diminished, demeaned.”
Silence and ignoring parent’s emails is a common practice used in the education system. They use this as a strategy in hopes that:
- You will go away
- You will get tired
- You will feel weak
- You will feel you have no other choices
- For legal reasons, they don’t want to respond
They use this strategy because it often works. People tend to give up eventually. It’s a decision to take up space and be seen. You are allowed to have your concerns addressed and your child has rights.
Options to consider when the school administration/teacher is ignoring you?
- Go higher up the chain of command
- CC more people. It’s easier to ignore an email if it’s just sent to you.
- Ask them to reply by a specific date. 5 days for senior admin. 2-3 days for principal/teacher. If it’s urgent and time-sensitive, state that in the email.
- You can file an Ombudsperson complaint.
- You can also email the Ministry of Education and CC the senior administrative staff in the email.
- Save all of the unanswered emails in a folder on your computer. This could be evidence for a human rights complaint for their refusal to fulfill their duty to consult.
- Use policy and human rights language in your emails.
Here are some examples of Policy and Human Rights Language
Inclusive Education Policy
Duty to Accommodate
** Just remember, policy is not law. The duty to accommodate will supersede any policies the School Board creates.
Here are some blogs on parents communicating with the education system.
BLOGS
5 Rules on How to be Untouchable
For an excellent blog on communicating with your child’s school team, please read a blog written by Jenn Scharf called Are Parents Responsible for the Feelings of Staff?